


A Moment Worth Its Time

by llamasonasurfboard



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: (I literally have never stumbled upon that before), And Auston will keep reminding you, Auston is hopelessly in love with Willy, Because apparently i need to warn for that, Drama, Fluff and Angst, Gay, He wants him so bad it hurts, He's pretty much going insane, Light Angst, Lots of angst from him, Love, M/M, Slurs, What a beautiful boy, Willy is the purest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 22:04:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14090649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llamasonasurfboard/pseuds/llamasonasurfboard
Summary: Auston loves Willy. A lot, actually.He can never bring himself to tell him.





	A Moment Worth Its Time

**Author's Note:**

> If you're fucking triggered by me using the words 'retarded' and 'fag' just fucking leave now. This fic says both of these slurs once, and apparently people are fucking offended by that and take it personally, which they fucking shouldn't.
> 
> I'm fucking done with people telling me how I can and can't write and what words I can and can't use, this is my story and none of your fucking business.
> 
> I have never in my entire life stumbled upon anyone that has been offended by the language I have used in my writing, and I can assure you, I have used WAY worse language than this. It's a fucking story. Fucking deal with it. People in Sweden understand that it's a fucking book and don't go all rampant over a fucking word used in a story.
> 
> So if you are 'triggered' but such words; fucking leave. Other wise I welcome you, unless you are rude.
> 
> I am angry yes.

It’s the end of period two. They’re leading with a 3 to 1 score against Buffalo, and the team goes back to the dressing room to rest. Auston’s legs are cramping underneath him, and he falls back down into his stall with a heavy sigh. His hair sticks to the helmet as he takes it off and he throws his gloves off to the ground and runs his hands through the sticky, warm and disgusting hair. He feels a presence next to him and looks up to see Willy sitting down, grinning widely.

“We’ve both been doing great this period,” he says and reaches out with his fist for Auston to bump, which he does tiredly. “We probably have to take some more risks however, at least in their zone. If we can’t, we won’t score any more goals, even if we don’t have to. Technically we should actually try to take less risks to secure a win, but…” Willy’s words fade away in Auston’s head, and all his eyes can focus on is his teammate talking in front of him, happily waving around with his hands as his eyes travel all over the room.

The sight is quite beautiful. Willy’s hair is sticking up in all kinds of directions as in comparison to when it’s usually slicked backwards in some way. It makes him look cute, but also disheveled. As if someone have been running their hands through it while passionately kissing him. The fact that he’s also breathing heavily doesn’t help the situation at all, and thoughts of the Swede starts running rampant in his head. On how he’d push him up against a wall, slowly but surely running his lips against Willy’s neck as he works his way up to his lips. The moans of the other making Auston buzz and as he attaches his lips to the other’s an explosion of emotions erupt. How Auston would place his hands on Willy’s hips and how he would wrap his arms around Auston’s neck to further deepen the kiss. It would feel magical, everything that Auston ever wanted.

But that’s not what happens, at all. Instead Mitch settles himself on the floor in front of them and starts talking about something. Auston doesn't care honestly. Nothing against Mitch, no no, not at all, but when there are vivid thoughts of passionate kissing between him and Willy he doesn’t necessarily want to be disturbed. Maybe it’s for the better however, it’s not seen as appropriate to think about your teammate in sexuality explicit scenes. Certainly not when he’s right in front of you either.

“What’s that blush doing on your face?” Mitch suddenly asks, and with a hazy look Auston turns to meet his eyes. There’s a big grin plastered onto his lips and for a second Auston really feels like punching him in the face. Of course he doesn’t. He’s not much of a fighter and he would probably have to explain himself, something that he really doesn’t feel like doing.

Instead he runs a hand through his sweaty hair and leans back, sighing once again. “Just thinking of some stuff,” he mumbles and rolls his eyes as Mitch raises his eyebrows suggestively. “And it has nothing to do with sexuality, don’t even try, Marner.”

“What assumptions do you make about me?” Mitch fake gasps and puts a hand onto his chest. For extra dramatic effect he sighs dramatically and falls backwards, pretending to be dead. Willy immediately falls to the floor and pretends to look for Mitch’s pulse but wails loudly and falls onto his friend’s chest as a sign of the other being dead.

It looks ridiculous, and they probably know it too, but it manages to get a laughter from Auston and he unenthusiastically applauds them. He starts laughing even more when Mitch turns into a “zombie” and a brawl ensues between him and Willy, which Mitch ends up winning. He sits atop Willy, legs on either side of his hips, and a bubbly feeling starts rumbling in Auston’s stomach, thoughts of pinning Willy down to the ground running through his head. On how Willy would run his hands through Auston’s brown mess of a hair, entangling his fingers in it as he presses their faces together for a passionate kiss. The sloppy sounds of their kissing would fill his ears, a euphoric feeling running in his blood, and Auston would feel nothing but alive.

“Back out on the ice boys,” Babcock suddenly announces and the players around him get ready. Auston puts his helmet on followed by his gloves, and a small smile spreads itself out on his lips as Willy grins brightly at him, quite like when the sun peeks out from behind the clouds after a rainy day. As always, that little smile makes his day even better, and the two fist bump once again before walking back out on the ice.

He certainly is a wonder, that William Nylander, Auston thinks as the other scores a goal thanks to his own assist. Like a lot of the other times when either of them scores and the other helps with an assist, Willy jumps onto Auston’s bigger frame, wrapping his arms around his neck. Trying to act as heterosexual as he can, Auston only pats his back and smiles at him. He doesn’t want to reveal the attraction he has for his own teammate after all, he would never be able to forgive himself if such a thing came out.

The team ends up winning the game 4 - 2, and after the match it’s three days until the next one, a nice little break for once. So, with close to no plans at all, Auston invites Willy to come over to his place for the night. The two haven’t been able to hang out too much recently, Willy favoritizing Kappy and Auston having decided that Mitch was one of the coolest guys he knew, there have been some loss of communication between them. To his relief however Willy gladly accepts, yet again with that bright smile.

“No problem if I steal some of your clothing tomorrow?” Willy asks as he sits down in the passenger seat of Auston’s car. “I’m too lazy to swing by my place and pick some up, and you’re not that much bigger than me after all, so finding clothes my size won’t be a problem. Besides, it’s not like we’ll be going out for a public event so whatever really.”

“Whatever you say,” Auston says and humorously rolls his eyes. “You’ve got no problem with takeaway, right? I’m not in the mood for cooking and since you don’t even wanna bother getting your clothes…” his words trail off and Willy bumps his head from side to side while actively avoiding Auston’s shaming eyes. They only end up laughing however and decide on getting some Chinese food before arriving to Auston’s apartment. Willy takes a tremendous amount of time trying to decide what to eat that Auston decides for him.

They wait for a few minutes, Willy hooking his chin over Auston’s shoulder to look at his - according to Willy - boring Instagram feed. It makes the younger’s cheeks light up with a slight blush. Of course he tries to hide it as best as he can but as Willy presses his cheek against Auston’s neck, the slightest of stubble rubbing against him and makes a little humming sound, Auston has a hard time trying not to faint at the spot. The smell of vanilla fills his senses and he recognizes it as Willy’s shampoo, a scent that he’s started getting used to after the numerous of times he’s played with his friend’s soft blonde locks.

Their order is called however just a few seconds after Auston takes a deep breath to inhale the sweet scent that Willy carries, and the contact between the two is broken. Auston pays both for he and Willy, and the two go back to his car to make their way to his apartment. Some Swedish song that Auston doesn’t recognize suddenly plays on the radio and Willy sings as if his life is depending on it. It manages to get a laugh out of Auston, mostly because he thinks Willy is absolutely adorable, but also because he doesn’t understand a single word that leaves his friend's mouth.

“You live so glamorously, what the fuck,” Willy says as he steps into the apartment from behind Auston. “I live in a normal fucking apartment, and here you come as if you were the fucking prince of Saudi-Arabia or some shit.”

“Isn’t your dad rich?” Auston says as he continues down the hall and to the right, where the kitchen is.

“He didn’t wanna sponsor me,” comes a response from the hall. “What the fuck, dude? You have a PS4, Xbox One and a fuckin’ Switch? Why even? I mean, what?”

Auston sighs heavily. Not because he’s frustrated with his friend, but because he’s being fucking adorable. So in a way, yes, he is frustrated (sexually so), but he isn’t mad at him in any shape or form. If he had been, the negativity in him would have disappeared as fast as he had walked into the living-room. Willy is pressed up against the glass doors that lead out to Auston’s balcony. He’s standing on his toes for some reason, and even if he stands a little behind him Auston can see the bright smile on his face.

It’s just as magical as the sunset.

“Come on, you can browse around my flat once we’ve finished eating,” Auston informs him and turns to go back to the kitchen. He hears Willy’s footsteps behind him and as he turns around with one of the boxes in his hands Willy is already at the table. He’s checking out the black kitchen with an awestruck look on his face, mouth slightly agape as his eyes wander the room. It’s almost as if someone has cast a spell over him, that’s how awestruck he looks.

Auston snorts, which catches Willy’s attention as his eyes land on his friend. “It looks as if you’ve seen a unicorn or some shit,” he grins widely as Willy unimpressively crooks one of his eyebrows, a typical thing of him to do.

“I just haven’t been to your new apartment,” he says and stretches out his legs in front of him as if he was a cat. “I’m starting to get hungry though, so gimme some of that sweet sweet Chinese food,” he makes grabby hands to where Auston is standing with the box in his hands, and with a roll to his eyes he hands it to Willy. He says arigato, despite that being Japanese.

Auston sits down in front of him and starts eating from his box. They have a nice and civil conversation, all from hockey to families to girls (which honestly isn’t too interesting to Auston, but he loves hearing Willy talk). It was nice enough, Auston hadn’t expected anymore or less. He did manage to make Willy laugh a couple of times, and the way his eyes crinkled, the ringing sound leaving his throat - Auston understands why he likes this boy as much as he does.

Then all of a sudden they’re sitting on the sofa. A random action movie is playing and Willy is slumped down in the mass of pillows that Auston’s mother had forced him to have once he had moved in. There was a bowl of chips on the coffee table a few minutes ago until Willy decided to take it for himself as his eyes never once left the screen. He is absolutely hooked on a movie that Auston has absolutely no idea what it is about.

It’s not really a surprise however. While Willy clearly has taken a greater interest in the movie, Auston has taken a greater interest in inspecting his friend. He’s lying on his right side with his knees tucked inwards so Auston has some place to sit, and he’s leaning on his right arm while mindlessly picking up chips with his thumb and middle finger from the bowl in front of him. His usual styled hair is a little messy, a part of it hanging on the right side of his face. He manages to pull it of, like most things. Sadly his shirt isn’t-

Auston slaps his forehead loudly and almost hisses at the short lived intense pain spreading over his skin. In his peripheral vision he sees Willy turning his head to look at him.

“You okay?” he asks.

Auston avoids looking at him as he only bolts from the sofa and runs over to the bathroom by his bedroom, locking the door after him. It’s very much out of place, and leaving Willy out in his living-room with no explanation isn’t ideal. Dating 101 surely doesn’t go like that, but as even more explicit scenes run through his head Auston just wants to let the tears flow over. It’s so frustrating, everything is just so frustrating.

At times Auston wishes, deep down, that he’d never met Willy. Then he wouldn’t be having such complex situations where he’s sitting in peace and all of a sudden William Nylander pops up in his head and his thoughts are now light years away from what they originally were. It’s never normal thoughts either, no no, they have to be sexual, which leaves him with a sometimes obvious problem.

He hates it. But at the same time it’s so addictive. He wants to touch Willy all over, feeling every inch and corner that he possibly can get to. To taste whatever he now may taste like and breathe in that damn vanilla scent that he always carries with him. Wants to be huddled up close to him, the warmth from him settling a furnace burning in Auston’s heart. To feel him, to hear him, to taste him.

“Matts?” Willy’s voice breaks his thoughts and his name is followed with soft knocks on the bathroom door.

He decides to stay silent. To keep his lips shut from letting out any sort of noise, afraid to just burst out into tears because of pure frustration. He knows it will only worry Willy more, and Auston truly doesn’t want to worry his friend, but what else is there that he can do? Start bawling like a little kid simply because he’s attracted to his straight teammate in a league where no one else is openly gay or bisexual?

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Willy’s soft spoken words make Auston weak all over, and for a second he thinks that his knees are gonna give in under his weight. “I may not understand but I’m always willing to listen. Or are you feeling sick to your stomach? Did you throw up?”

“Shut up,” Auston whispers to himself as he runs a hand over his face, a grimace on it resembling a smile. “I’m fine, Willy,” lies. “I just got a little nauseous and thought I was going to throw up or so, but apparently not. I don’t know if that Chinese food was the most ideal thing to eat but I feel fine now,” he opens his eyes again. Thankful for that one can’t see on him about how he’s just freaked out, Auston turns around and opens the bathroom door to be met by a worried looking Willy. His eyebrows are furrowed and the usual blue light in his eyes is gone.

“You sure you’re okay?” Willy asks worryingly and licks his pink lips, the smallest of movement sending chills through Auston’s body.

Auston nods and forces a smile to his lips that gradually turns into a real one as Willy smiles back at him. He proposes that they should go to sleep as the clock is some over twelve, and Auston agrees, eyelids all of a sudden heavy as he makes his way to his bedroom.

The bedroom is probably what you could call fancy. There’s a queen sized bed standing to the wall, and a walk-in-closet. He has glass doors that lead out to a private balcony where you barely can peak over the wooden boards, but it also makes it more private. It’s only streets down there anyways so the sight isn’t necessarily one that he feels a need to look at anyways.

“I’m just gonna steal this from you,” Willy says and takes one of Auston’s many Leafs hoodies he has. “Should I crash on the couch or do you have a planned place for me to sleep at? And do you have any extra toothbrushes by any means?”

Auston snorts humorously as he takes off his shirt. “If you’re not too uncomfortable you could always sleep in my bed with me,” as fast as those words leaves his lips butterflies go off in his stomach. 

Willy doesn’t seem to react to it however as he smiles brightly. “Fine by me, your bed looks soft as fuck. Do you happen to have any other toothbrushes though? I can’t go to bed without brushing my teeth, it’s disgusting. And morning breath isn’t a nice phenomenon either,” he scrunches his nose as if he was a bunny, and as with everything else Willy does it makes Auston smile.

“Somewhere in the bathroom by the other bathroom supplies, you’ll probably manage to find something there.”

Willy nods and then leaves the bedroom with one of Auston’s hoodies, possibly to use it as a nightwear. It doesn’t bother him too much, he low-key hopes that it will smell that sweet vanilla afterwards. That one scent that makes Auston think of home, and he doesn’t necessarily know why. Willy isn’t home after all but somewhere inside of him he always feels comfortable around him. It’s almost as if his brain has settled on that Willy is his second home.

“‘Ere,” comes a voice all of a sudden and Auston looks up to see Willy walking into the bedroom with a toothbrush in his mouth and another in his hand. The hoodie is the slightest too big on him, and that’s probably his plan so that it goes to his mid thighs. He probably tried to look for the biggest one he possibly could, would explain why he looked around Auston’s walk-in-closet for a while other than just looking in it for a quick peak.

Auston takes the toothbrush however and begins to brush his teeth. Willy sits down on the bed beside him and the two just sit there, brushing their teeth. It’s rather peaceful, actually, sitting there as the slightest of vanilla starts to spread itself through the room. Their knees are almost touching and Auston can feel his cheeks heat up as he subconsciously stares at the side of Willy’s face, admiring his beauty.

It’s peaceful moments like that which engraves itself in Auston’s mind. Just plainly sitting there, the sounds of their respective toothbrushes filling the otherwise empty air. Auston’s eyes lingers for a long while over Willy’s facial features, pointy nose, blue shining eyes, smooth skin that has since their first meeting been cleansed of any pimples. To him, Willy is perfection, exactly the kind of person that makes his heart swell over until it hurts.

He only ends up sighing however and leaves his bed to go for the bathroom. Once he reaches the sink he spits and wipes his mouth before he walks back to his bedroom. Willy is still sitting on the bed with the toothbrush in his mouth, but as Auston begins to near the bed he gets up. Auston almost reaches out for him to grab, to stop him and embrace him as he tells him how much he loves him. But of course that doesn’t happen as Willy only continues to walk past him.

His feelings are never gonna stop irritating him, but instead of going berserk and throw things around the room while screaming his lungs out, he just falls onto the bed. It’s warm on his empty back and the damn vanilla scent lingers.

“Should I turn off the lights?” Willy’s voice comes from the door, and Auston hums as a confirmation. As the room goes dark he proceeds to lie down on the right side of the bed, where he previously had been sitting. He feels the weight of his friend sitting down next to him as the bed sinks slightly and the covers are moved around for the other’s comfort.

“Night,” Willy whispers softly as if his words were jumping on clouds, and Auston hums back a response. He hopes deeply that he’ll get a good night’s sleep.

 

He doesn’t get a good night’s sleep in any way. Willy does, and while his even, soft breathing is peaceful, Auston can’t possibly fall asleep with the other next to him. It takes every single living part of him not to bolt out of his room again. Instead he decides to roll onto this left side so he can look at his sleeping friend who already his facing him. One of his hands is tucked under his head while the other is under the pillow. His long lashes casts a shine onto his cheeks from the moonlight that makes its way into the room.

If only he could reach over and stroke his smooth cheek, the warmth of the other filling his every inch with love. If only he could hold him close and run his hand through his soft hair. If only he could tell Willy about much joy he brings him, on how he brightens up his day like no other can. If only he could actually show Willy his true feelings.

Tossing and turning is what he settles on instead, closing his eyes to try and earn some shut-eye.

 

By the time he wakes up it’s bright outside his window. Auston scratches his back and turns to his left to see Willy lying there, breathing just as soft and even as he did hours ago. The sun is shining on him, amazingly not waking him up, but Auston is thankful for that as he gets to watch his friend in the most peaceful condition he’s ever seen him. The light almost makes him look like a god that is hard to tear your gaze away from.

The clock however is some time over eleven, and not wanting to disturb the sleeping boy Auston slowly creeps out of bed. He does his morning business and proceeds to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. While he may not be the best at cooking he is at least decent, and decide to be kind enough to make some bacon and eggs, just because it’s Willy. If it would have been Mitch he probably wouldn’t even prepared breakfast for him.

It takes its time, but he’s only a few minutes shy of being done when he hears footsteps approaching the kitchen. He turns to see Willy standing in the doorway, rubbing his sleepy eyes with one of his hands.

“Morning,” Auston greets and smiles before turning around.

“Mornin’,” Willy mumbles and walks over to where Auston is cooking, hooking his chin over his bare shoulder. “Smells nice, is some of it for me too?” a part of his hair falls onto Auston’s shoulder and tickles him in the slightest.

“Well it would be awfully selfish of me not to share it with you.”

“Sounds exactly like you.”

Auston pushes his shoulder up to get Willy off of him, which only makes the other laugh. He retreats however and says that he’ll rummage through Auston’s walk-in-closet to find something to wear. It makes Auston blush in the slightest, thinking about how much of a couple they all of a sudden act like. Of course Willy doesn’t see it in any way that he does but he still can’t help the blush from rising on his cheeks.

Soon enough he's done with the food and puts it on two plates on the table. He’s just started eating when Willy comes back in to the kitchen, dressed in a pair of Auston’s tighter jeans as well as his Sundin hoodie. He’d received it as a gift only a few months ago as a celebration of him being one of the more talented leafs, possibly going to the heights that Mats Sundin reached. It drowns out Willy however, as it even is partly too big on Auston himself, and Willy isn’t necessarily the biggest guy on the team. Sure, he’s not the smallest, but when Auston is around three inches taller, have wider shoulders and bigger build in general, the difference can be more damning.

They eat and talk about everything and nothing. It’s nice enough with the two of them having a normal conversation quite like Auston would have with his other friends. He’s actually quite thankful that Babcock had decided to put them on the same line as it gave him more opportunities to hang with Willy without it feeling awkward. He and Mitch had initially clicked very well and Willy was mostly hanging with Kappy, but as Babcock had seen potential in Auston and Willy as a pair he decided that it was apparently best to put them together. Auston has never protested.

“Do you think it’s annoying when people talk about their partners?” Willy asks mindlessly as he dries the frying pan with some paper.

Auston turns to look at him with raised eyebrows. “Uh, depends. Why do you ask?”

“Mitch,” Willy answers as he grins. “Won’t shut up about his babe. I mean yeah sure it’s cute and stuff like that but after like, two minutes it starts to get so fucking annoying I think I’ll end up ripping out my hair,” Auston snorts as he dries his hands on a towel.

“I think I kind of would be the same though,” he confesses which earns a raised eyebrow from his friend. “I mean if there’s someone I love that much I too would want to talk about them. Only shows that I’m proud in being together with them and that they truly mean a lot to me. I wouldn’t talk about them for any other reason.”

Willy bobs his head from side to side as if he is in agreement. After that however they go and crash on the couch in Auston’s living room. They watch some shitty movie that Auston isn’t too invested in honestly, especially not when Willy has his head in his lap and Auston is allowed to run his hands through his soft hair. He doesn’t know why or how but Willy just happens to have the best hair imaginable and Auston absolutely loves it.

They spend the day at Auston’s place doing nothing but hang around. It is a totally free day where they don’t have to go to practice, so as the clock hits nine Willy suggests that they go to a club that lies nearby. While Auston isn’t the biggest fan of going to clubs and hit it up with random people, he’s not one to go against the suggestion either. Only thing he knows he dislikes is the fact that someone always hits on Willy, whether he’s been there for a minute or an hour. People just seem to be pulled towards him and Auston himself is one of them.

He agrees however and the two change into something a little more representable. Auston wouldn’t let Willy have his Sundin hoodie anyways so he hands him one of his black t-shirts which - for some ungodly reason - makes him look so fucking attractive that Auston could just take him right there and then. He’s so glad that he’s at least somewhat rational as he puts on a white t-shirt that accentuates his muscles, maybe just to show off a little.

There is a club about a ten minute walk from Auston’s place and on the way there Willy is buzzing. Auston laughs lightly as his friend steals his snapback to put it on himself. As expected it’s a tad bit too big, but it doesn’t seem to bother Willy in the slightest, his mood is too good to be ruined by such a simple thing (even if he ultimately ends up changing it to his size).

As to be expected, loud music is playing at the club, it’s warm and the smell is not one Auston is a fan of. Willy pulls him towards the bar however and orders them each a drink that Auston doesn’t recognize. He smiles and chugs it all however as it’s handed to him and the liquid burns in his throat. Willy giggles at him while he takes some careful sips of his, and as Auston turns to the bartender to ask for another one he is giving him a rather impressed look. They get two new drinks however and as Auston is about to order a third one (he’s not an alcoholic, no, just drunk on love) two girls not so sneakily slide up to them.

Willy immediately seems interested and he and one of the girls make their way out to the dance floor while Auston is left with the other girl. She is pretty; brown short hair, a rather decent face and doesn’t look bitchy, so he invites her to a dance which she accepts with a gleeful smile.

It’s nice enough, he realizes. He isn’t in any way attracted to her and that’s probably why he isn’t so awkward around her. If he would have been dancing with Willy, for instance, he would probably have been blushing all over and not dared to move.

Speaking of Willy, Auston scopes the room to see if he can catch the blonde beauty anywhere. When he doesn’t he excuses himself and goes back to the bar to get another drink, another drink to further push his feelings away. It’s not a healthy coping mechanism, he wouldn’t even call it a coping mechanism, but it’s something that sets his mind on anything that isn’t isn’t a problem, more specifically a problem called William Nylander.

Auston spends a significant amount of time by the bar, and as he takes his phone out from his pocket to look at whatever notification he’d just gotten, he realizes his vision is slightly blurry. It’s a clear sign that he’s getting more intoxicated than what he should, and especially when he can’t even type an answer back to Matt who’d asked about a movie they’d seen a good few days back.

“There you are!” Auston turns around to see Willy walking towards him, excusing himself as he bumps into some people. “I think we should head back, and you don’t seem to have the best of parties either.”

Willy pulls his friend up from the chair, and with a murmur Auston takes his arm back and shoves past people. He feels someone tug at the back of his shirt, possibly Willy so he can keep up with his pace, and as he finally gets outside into the chilly night he stops. Someone bumps into his back and he turns to see Willy rearranging the cap on his head.

“You gotta be more careful, dude,” Willy says and looks up to smile at his friend. “I may be tall but I ain’t Auston Matthews tall.”

There’s a few seconds of silence between them until Auston’s face cracks and he laughs loudly. Willy joins in and the two start walking down the streets back to Auston’s apartment. Almost the whole way back there they laugh, telling each other things that wouldn’t be funny if it wasn’t for the fact that they were both drunk. They even meet an old woman who gives them both a pissed off look, to which they only reply with pulling ugly faces at her as if they were five.

When they try to get up to the fifth floor in the complex using the elevator they end up at the sixth floor and they both panic a little as Auston’s key doesn’t fit into the lock. It’s not until the man who lives there calmly tells them that ‘it’s the sixth floor, Auston, not the fifth’ that they finally make it to his apartment.

When they stumble inside the flat both of them are still laughing, and Willy leans against the wall as he breathes out. Auston locks the door and throw his keys onto a small table and then stops in his tracks.

Something inside of him is burning. The look Willy is giving him, lustful eyes, lips parted and heavy breathing. Auston’s heart is beating faster than what it has done in forever and there’s a pit of anxiety lingering in his stomach. It’s a lust filled moment that Auston simply cannot resist, and in two steps he’s in front of Willy, pressing him up again the wall. They’re so close that their chests are touching and Auston feels Willy’s breath on him, the warmth of his body making him flush.

One of Auston’s legs makes its way in between Willy’s legs, one of his hands on the wall and the other slowly creeping up against Willy’s arm. Willy’s hands roam over Auston’s chest up to his neck, sensually rubbing his skin, until he lays his arms on his shoulders. With a soft touch to Willy’s cheek, Auston leans in to capture his lips, almost as if they were made of glass.

It’s tender at first. Auston lets his hands fall down to Willy’s hips while Willy wraps his arms around Auston’s neck, pressing the two even closer. The kiss isn’t one filled with passion. Instead it’s a sloppy, drunk kiss, but the taste of Willy mixed with alcohol makes Auston’s head spin. Their lips seem to fit like puzzle pieces and in the span of a few seconds both of them hunger for the other even more. Saliva is exchanged between the two, and their noses occasionally rub against each other as they kiss as if their lives depended on it.

Auston’s mind is too wrapped up in the taste of Willy to even take notice to the slight tent building in his pants. Willy certainly doesn’t seem to mind as he toys around with Auston, almost teasing him, but caves in to the dominance battle. He certainly is a good kisser at least, Auston takes notice to as he is allowed to finally explore the other’s mouth, once and for all getting a fucking taste of Willy.

“Bedroom,” Willy whispers hotly against his skin and the arousal in Auston immediately seems to shoot through the roof. The moment is tense, sexual and extremely hot, at least for Auston and his intoxicated mind. Willy has never looked better before and all of Auston’s emotions go off at the same time.

He loves it so fucking much.

 

When Auston wakes up the next morning the bed is empty. The light blinds him and makes his head throb, and with slow movements he sits up in the bed, not wanting to kill his head the first thing he does in the morning.

Auston makes his way to the bathroom and takes some pills to ease his headache. They’re supposed to have practice at twelve and while Auston really doesn’t feel like going he knows he has to. 

He washes his face in the sink to try and wake himself up, and as he locks eyes with himself in the mirror the feeling of dread lays itself over him. It’s as if all of a sudden everything that went wrong yesterday comes crashing over him and Auston has to grab the sink as not to fall. His head is spinning and memory fills with what went on last night - the moans, the stench of alcohol and sweat, the sex.

“Fuck!” Auston yells loudly and jabs his fist onto the marble sink. It hurts like a bitch, but it’s not as bad as the guilt he feels over last night. How fucking stupid could he have been? The alcohol didn’t help him last night in any way and Auston feels like inflicting more harm onto himself for his stupid mistake. What the fuck had he been thinking?

Besides Auston himself the apartment is empty. There are no traces of Willy, no paper or text saying that he left. The only sign of his absence is Auston’s missing Sundin hood and the essence of that sweet sweet vanilla.

 

Practice is hell for him. Willy doesn’t even acknowledge his presence, and as the two are supposed to practice on the same line Willy suggests that they should maybe mix it up a little. Of course Babcock doesn’t agree, asks why the two all of a sudden are acting so strange to each other but continues on with practice as if it didn’t matter. It appears as if he sees Auston’s having a hard time at practice and tells him to go rest on the bench for five minutes. His headache is killing him and he skates swiftly over to the bench and falls down onto it.

“You okay, bro?” he hears Mitch say and the sound of someone bumping into the boards fills Auston’s ears.

He looks up however, meets Mitch’s worried gaze and then looks back down to his skates as not to feel so guilty. “I’m fine,” he lies. “I don’t think I’m here mentally today. I didn’t get a good night of sleep so I think that’s a factor. I also was out drinking last night and I can tell you that I will never do that again before practice. At least not so much.”

Mitch laughs and pats him on his head, wishing him a healthy recovery before he skates back to the others. It takes its time but Auston looks up to see the others practicing and for a fraction of a second it seems as if Willy is looking at him, quickly turning away however. It stings a little, he has to admit, but he carries on with practice as best as he can.

The days go on. Auston goes back to just hanging out with Mitch and Willy doesn’t leave Kappy’s side for even as long as a second. They act as if nothing has happened between them and play just like they’ve always done during the games, only now Willy never does his ‘Nylander hug’, as Auston had named it. They don’t even as much pat each other on their heads and whenever the team is supposed to huddle into a group hug they’re always at a great distance from each other. It’s the small things that disappear, those secretive things that had its place in Auston’s heart, completely wiped out, now only a memory of the past.

It goes a week. Mitch asks if he would like to join on their Fortnite playing, to which Auston declines, having heard about Willy joining in on their little squad. Then it goes another week, a third and final request from Mitch to join them, who finally asks why he doesn’t want to join any longer, if it has something to do with Willy being surprisingly good or if he just doesn’t want to play with them any longer.

Auston wants to tell him. Wants to tell him that his heart is aching over his stupid drunken mistake. On how he totally ruined a blossoming friendship between him and his linemate. But instead he finally caves in, joins the boys for a game night. To be expected Willy almost religiously avoids him at any cost. Doesn’t try to communicate with him in an attempt at succeeding in killing their enemies. Mitch is right however, Willy is better than any of them, even if he has played less.

Then it goes three weeks, and Auston is alone in his apartment, watching some awful horror movie that he really does not give a fuck about. There’s a gorgeous blond boy in it, maybe in his twenties and Auston’s stomach churns. Of course he reminds him of Willy, of fucking course he does. Everything around him reminds him of Willy. It pains him so unbelievably much, makes his heart hurt and face heat up. He’s mad, not at Willy, but at himself.

What if he hadn’t been so fucking retarded and decided to kiss him? They wouldn’t have had this conflict at the moment, they wouldn’t avoid each other as if the other was an absolute pest. It weighs heavy on him, his mistake, possibly the biggest mistake he has ever done. It ruined his relationship with his teammate, linemate, close friend and most importantly with the boy he’s fallen so deeply for.

Auston turns his head in the direction of the door, thinking he heard someone knock. There’s another sound to the door and with stale movements he gets up from the couch. He has no idea who it is, it can’t possibly be his mom or dad because it’s way too late, almost around ten. Mitch, Zach or any of the other guys would have announced their visit, so with unsure and tired steps he stumbles over to the door.

He almost shuts it immediately when he opens it, just out of pure shock, but instead he unimpressively raises on one of his eyebrows, crosses his muscular arms over his chest and leans against the doorpost. A dry ‘what’ leaves his lips.

“Uh, hi,” Willy says silently and pulls at the blue hoodie in his hands. “I thought that I should give this back to you, y’know…”

With a quick movement to his hand Auston reaches out and grabs it, forcing it out of his teammate’s hands. He seems surprised, somewhat taken aback, and Auston is about to close the door on him when Willy’s pleading stops him. A heavy sigh leaves his lips and he angrily throws the door up and regains his previous position.

“Yes?” Auston asks angrily, obviously not up for conversation in any sort of way.

“I came here to apologize, as well,” he says softly and a part of Auston just wants to melt and wrap his arms around Willy, telling him how it wasn’t his fault and that it was going to be okay. “What happened that night, I- I want to put that behind us. It was nothing but a drunken mistake and I know that it was nothing behind it, just two horny guys having a tad bit too much alcohol in their system and things escalating further than what they should have. It was a mistake and-”

“It wasn’t a mistake to me,” Auston cuts him off. 

Willy looks baffled, mouth hung open and blue eyes blinking rapidly. “Ex… excuse me?” He asks, as if he had missed what Auston had said.

“It wasn’t a mistake to me,” he repeats, a blush rising on his cheeks all of a sudden. “What happened between us wasn’t something I regret. Or well I regret it because it created a barrier between us, like after that night we can’t talk any longer. But the moment in and of itself was something that I honestly loved.”

Willy just stands there, mouth opening and closing as if he was a fish. The silence is agonizingly awkward and Auston just wants to be buried six feet under. Every single part of his body is itching, and something that could most accurately be compared to fight or flight seems to kick in inside of him. If he could escape the situation he would have done it but suddenly closing the door on Willy after such a confession would really not help their current situation.

“Wow,” is all that leaves Willy’s lips and Auston really wants to slap him. “I- I honestly,” he sighs and runs a hand through his wet hair, making himself ever so undeniably more attractive. “I didn’t think you liked it, like at all. I could taste the alcohol on your lips like, you were way more intoxicated than me and so I naturally thought that it was a drunken mistake. I… I didn’t want to stay that morning because I thought you were gonna freak out or something, like accuse me of being a fag or something… Which I am not, by the way,” he laughs awkwardly and looks down to the floor, a part of his hair falling down over his face.

“I would never accuse you of that,” Auston whispers and gains eye contact with his friend as he looks up from the floor. “I could never accuse you of that, it would be kinda hypocritical of me to do so.”

Willy seems to choke on absolutely nothing and looks at him with wide eyes. “You say what?” he says it a little too loud and it makes Auston wince slightly.

“I… I’m… attracted to you?” Auston tries and really hopes he isn’t as red as a tomato. “Like, I wasn’t so drunk that I didn’t know what I was doing, I was fully aware of that. But the reason why I even followed through with it is because I am attracted to you, like a lot, physically, sexually - whatever you want to say. Ever since I got drafted and made it onto the team I thought… you looked good, like really good. Like the-most-attractive-person-I-have-ever-met kind of good. That’s why I even followed through with the act.”

Willy blows up his cheeks, reminding Auston of a blowfish. Then he blows the air out, runs yet again a hand through his hair and falls absolutely silent. Now he’s not even looking at Auston, which makes him feel even worse about himself. As if what he just had said could be compared to telling him that he had murdered his brother and the anxiety creeping up on Auston’s back almost makes him feel like fainting.

“I-” he stops, rubs his hands together and sighs. “Do you like me?”

“Do you mean if I love you?” Auston asks calmly, even if he’s panicking on the inside, and Willy nods. “Yeah, I do. A lot actually. I think I fell for you the first time we played on the same line. When that special chemistry between us flourished, how I felt genuinely happy playing by your side and how it felt as if I just had found the missing puzzle piece to a thousand pieces puzzle. Ever since I’ve fallen for you more and more for each and every thing you have done. I will probably never stop loving you, no matter how cliché and stupid that sounds.” Their eyes meet again and there’s the slightest of shimmer in Willy’s eyes.

“I didn’t know,” Willy almost whispers and laughs lowly. “Really, I would never have guessed. Like I know I have my admirers here and there but I never expected you to be one of them,” it makes Auston smile and he shakes his head in disbelief. “I’m flattered, however. And can I share a secret with you?”

Auston raises on his eyebrows questioningly but nods his head in confirmation. Willy stands in the slightest on his tip-toes and leans in to whispers into Auston’s ear, making him blush all over. The warmth of Willy’s breath is sexually frustrating and that sweet vanilla fills his senses again. The sweet vanilla that he hasn’t smelled in forever.

“I like you as well.”

He’s sure it almost sounds like he’s about to throw up as he backs away and stares at Willy in pure shock and somewhat horror. Not a single sound escapes him as a series of emotions flush through him, anger, sadness, love, anxiety. Everything that you possibly could mix up is what he feels and as Willy starts to give him a little bit of a worried look, as if he did was absolutely wrong, Auston opens his mouth.

“That’s great,” is all he can muster up and he can’t help but hear the quiver in his voice. “Excellent, actually.”

Silence. Silence is what falls over them and weighs heavier than anything ever has done on Auston. It’s as if everything inside of him is ready to move but simply can’t. His brain is going a thousand miles an hour and he can’t even hear his own fucking thoughts over the noises in his head. Everything starts spinning in front of him and then-

A soft pair of lips attaches themselves to his and it’s as everything around him just stops. His own heartbeat stops, his breathing stops, the spinning stops and finally the loud noises stop. It’s calm, peaceful even, but Auston doesn’t have any time in taking in the moment before the soft lips are gone again and Auston touches back down to reality, the reality where Willy is looking up at him through his eyelashes and a blush is coating his cheeks.

“Wow,” is all that Auston can muster before he leans down to capture Willy’s lips, this time it being shared between both of them.

If there was ever going to be a moment that Auston had to chose in his life, it would be this. Him holding his Sundin hoodie that smells like Willy all the while kissing the love of his life softly, slowly and passionately. Moments like that are what gets etched into your heart, that ultimately makes your heart flourish with love and your head to swirl with nothing but the sweet taste of your loved one.

A moment worth waiting a million years for.

**Author's Note:**

> Self confidence is still crushed but I know it doesn't help going back so trying to cure my anxiety I put it up again without changing the story. Be offended if you want to, it's not my life suffering then.


End file.
